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FORGIVE ME FOR FORGIVING YOU

Depression isn’t my friend. I don’t “choose” to feed it with the mockery, the inadequacy and the discouragement you provide me with. It lives within me, not like a companion, but like a parasite, and I’ll wait patiently for the day you realise that. But maybe, I’ll be waiting forever.
I don’t sit by windows staring at the rain trickling down the panes like they show in the movies, or maybe I do, but I wish my mind was as still as my face looks. I know you’ve noticed that I don’t eat that favourite ice cream of mine anymore (it’s alright if you surpass it as a diet I was never on) and you’ve noticed the bags under my eyes (I don’t mind you comparing my insomnia to your overtime caused sleep starvation which, by the way, I’m genuinely worried about).
If you choose to call my reserved nature attention seeking, I forgive you, the same way I forgave you for drawing out my imperfections when my confidence barely had a footing, the same way I quietly cried myself to sleep every night since you called me selfish for trying to take care of myself before I could take care of you.
I don’t always stay at home, I try my best to make it to all your fancy occasions that make me feel more conscious about myself (with your comments playing on repeat within my head, reminding me that my teeth look crooked when I smile and my hair gets sticky with sweat), and if I’m feeling strong enough, I shake off a shoe and try to groove to the beat, just once, but maybe you’ll never know how my heartbeat plays louder than the song in my ears.
And I know that makes you feel like you’ve cured all my problems, because all a person needs to be happy is to dance with a group of people that remind them of everything they lack in themselves.
I don’t deliberately fail at everything I do and I can’t help but notice you ignore my victories to highlight my wounds. I know I’m unable to win at everything you want me to, and for that, I apologize, but nevertheless, I try. Your expectations from me are in a court I’ve never been able to play on, and you’ve never quite appreciated my art work. So the next time you look at me trying my best getting dressed for the game, remember I’m still playing with fractures from your ridicule.
The noose has always seemed inviting, but if I stay, it’s because of you. My hands are aching from being outstretched and empty for so long, but I’m hanging on, just a little bit more.
I don’t doubt why you feel like I’m feigning it. A person who smiles all day, doesn’t seem like an emotionally traumatized person, until you choose to see beyond it. I’ve stopped asking for help because maybe, just like you said, it’s all in my head. But right now, my head is killing me and all I know is, that you’re not there.
I am not me, I am you, most of you, some of you, but, hopefully, none of you.
The World Health Organisation describes depression as a common mental disorder, characterized by sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, feelings of tiredness and poor concentration.
More and more of the people surrounding us, the people we love, and the people that love us, are falling in its deadly trap. Most of us choose to look away, or cause more harm than help. Depression isn’t scientifically contagious, but, it’s important to understand that very easily, with the slightest trigger, we could be in their place. And to live with a disease that isn’t even believed to be a disease per se, can be far more fatal than most of us realise it to be.
Depression isn’t a joke. The ones suffering from it, are not gaining anything out of it and unfortunately, mere tablets aren’t enough of a cure for it. This monster lives off insecurities that are often contributed externally and with every kind word of love and understanding, it diminishes by and by.
Be the support system you wish you had, you could be the light at the end of someone’s dark tunnel, you could be the saviour of your own self.
Written by – Prabhleen Singh

Love and not just live in 2017

We plan a lot every year, year after year to do this to do that and build numerous plans sometimes bigger than what we can hold. Some of us manage to get them done, otherwise the same contender- procrastination continues to win. I must say it is a true winner in battle most of us fight everyday. Did we ever plan what we should really do each year to allow our lives to become better? Did you? If not. Plan it now. NOW, if not now then again a year is ready to be treated the same way like most of our years have been.
We, at Awakened You will help you choose out of a List and will suggest you to do any 5 things this year. All this is to make sure that when we are asked what is the most important thing you have done this year? You should not just answer- Survived.
*Visit a NGO or a Social Place and Spend a day with them every Month
Out of all the chaos and busy life take out one day for centering yourself. Go to an NGO, if it has kids play interact talk and enjoy with them. Yes, it’s really effective to allow your inner child be nourished and moreover you are helping the children grow with you. It’s a win act.
*Go High
Go high, not with alcohols but with your own self. There are days when I am alone in my room and I go high with myself- close the door and dance like anything, if possible sing yourself out and enjoy your voice, I normally begin with chats and send funny audios to my friends. There are times when I lock the door and bang my feet on the floor and punch pillows and stretch my arms.. ah! How relaxing and fulfilling it is. Try and find what helps you.
*Talk.
When I say Talk it involves both Speaking and Listening. If you have a friend well and good, otherwise if an anonymous is available with whom you can talk (prefer a voice call over a chat) just talk yourself out. If you feel you have no one, WE are ready to hear you buddy. We are ready to receive your texts audios or voice calls and you can talk yourself out.
*Read atleast 3 books this year
365 days this year. Right? Go with 5 pages everyday. An average book has 400 pages. You need 80 days to complete a book and 240 to complete three book. Still so many days left. If you really want book to begin healing you, anyhow take out 15 minutes from schedule, either sleep 15 min. Late or get up 15 minutes early but follow this regularly and ofcourse choose a Good set of Books. Want Recommendations? We are here. Get in touch with us.
*Go on a Trip to a different place
So when I say different place, choose a not-so chosen yet an amazing destination. Choose something unique and don’t follow the routine. Arrange for some cash or start collecting today and plan a trip. Allow it to be one good memory of your life. All that you need for a good trip is PMS. Okay you can laugh on that. Plan Money and Success. Third comes naturally when you allow it to be.
*Plant 12 trees this year
Age old recommendation to plant a tree on every birthday. How many of us would have ever done that? Few. Very few. I can vouch on this experiment. Plant a tree every month and the satisfaction you’ll receive will be just out of the world. It really feels you have done something for the world. Believe me. Try it once and you’ll love it. Find a place, buy a plant or sapling and allow it to grow. By the way Goodluck free.
*Wear your truth
Why do you say you’re a man and you shouldn’t cry? Why do you say you’re a boy and should not take good care of your skin? Why do you say I am a girl I should not  shout? Why do we say I am not jealous at all? As humans you all want to do everything. As a human it is fine to do everything. Every emotion and reaction is valid, controlled and maintained with boundaries. But why aren’t we ready to accept it. Stand in your Truth. Speak it confidently. Wear it courageously.
*Go for a Long Drive
Don’t have a car? Arrange one. Hire a cab or a taxi. Ask a friend out or go alone. It will be one beautiful and refreshing experience. Sing while you travel, talk to yourself. Feel whatever. No one is judging you. Be YOU.
*Record your voice 
Finding it weird? Believe me, take out any article or any speech and find time when you’re alone. Use your phone and read it  and record it. Now play it. Hear your own voice. Know everything about yourself. Practice it. You Will feel more closer to yourself.
*Do something you haven’t done before
Never felt for painting? Paint today. Never played any sport? Give it a try. Never danced naked in front of a mirror? Go on.(prefer shutting the door) List is just endless, find what attracts you and try it. No one is asking for a perfection dude. Just go with it. Once?
*Take the Action, already dreamt a lot
Enough of procrastinating every day and every year. Planned of writing a book? atleast Start? Planned of losing weight, joining gym, studying hard, learn to dance, guitar or whatever. When are you planning to do? When new commitments will overpower your actions and these wishes shall be buried. Get up and don’t be lousy ass. Shake it up man. Show yourself you can do it.
*Live in NOW
Did you ever realise when you say I am tensed or I am worried they are all connected to either something that happened in past or something that is going to happen in future. You never worry for the present because in present we have nothing to worry. We are Alive. Yay! That is it. Why keep situations that had already occurred or are yet occur or might not even occur wretching you day in and day out. Every morning take a pen and write NOW on your wrist and whenever you feel distracted come back to this NOW.
*Appreciate 5 things in yourself every morning 
Buy a diary today, now don’t delay this atleast and appreciate anything in yourself. Even if it is silly find out 5 things daily morning and pen it down. Let’s do it for today as well
I love my wide smile
I love my decisiveness
I love my habit of talking confidently

I love how I laugh so hard
I love how people love to talk to me

I love my craziness
I love how I maintain a balance in my personal and professional life.

I love my flaws
Did you just see how simple was that. If it wasn’t, practice loving yourself more. You’ll get ample of things to love inside your ownself. Try it now
*Learn the Attitude of Gratitude
Must have learnt saying Thank You is a basic etiquette? How many of you still practice it generally. I do.I developed this habit in 2012 and till now I make sure I say thank you after I buy any stuff from any shop or pay any cab or auto driver or eat in any restaurant
Your personality speak volumes about you, allow it to be improved.
*Evaluate your day daily, ask if you’re happy, if not work on that.
Monitor your satisfaction. If its not upto the mark. Look for it. If you can’t find the reason talk to us. We might help you. Work on it. Improve it. Make your life full of standard living. Let it be worth living.
Stay Tuned.

It is what it is.

Any relation involves a phase when solace comes from being alone and every relation finds a day when solace comes from being together. It’s all the the up and down wave of a relation. That’s human. That’s valid. That’s acceptable. Never go with a word which others say to you. They are not in your shoes. Neither do they clear the levels of defining things from your view. It’s all about you, and after you its about him. No one else. It’s an energetic contract. Validate your relation, by closing your eyes putting up a question- Am I loving the way things are going? Am I enjoying the company of my partner? If yes, well and good. If No, what in between us needs rectification? What needs to be taken care of? What are we missing? The first voice, is the voice of soul which in any case should never be ignored. See how it goes for you. Rest, whosoever feels whatever it’s not their business. Your contract, your business. Simple as that.

Anger : A valid emotion

“Anger. Urgh what is it? A negative emotion. A thing to resist. An invalid emotion. Dangerous. Harmful. Um and what else?
Satisfied? Yet not? Let’s begin the Blame game now. Blame me? Blame yourself. Ugh DONE? Enough?
Any change? No.
Right?
Yes.”
Our society has given the wrong notions to an emotion that is one valid part just as many other. Anger. Is. Valid.
Period.
Are all those memories rewinding where anger has caused immense harm to you? Given rise to Conflicts and issues? What gave that extravagant moment to arise? It is the same anger that you suppressed and told yourself- ‘Shush! It’s just not right to express it’
Your body has a limited capacity and after certain regular intervals it has to empty itself. And it does, but many times in horrendous forms.
Had it been we have cleared it out before, those situatuons wouldn’t have come up. But again and again we are taught Let Go of all Anger not giving us a path that where should we let it go or how to let it go. On the other hand, in Metaphysics we are asked to take back our own power back in our hands too. Isn’t power a feature of our Personal Power Chakra? The solarplexus? Don’t you think while de-stagnating it would also surface up the hidden emotions? Since it works closely with emotions, Anger is one of them. Controlled expression anger with a controlled and efficient release(letting go) is a sign of clearing out and many at times emptying yourself. But then we still fear anger. Reasons? We have seen the worst incidents coming out of fear. But who led that? The incessant trials of suppression did that.
You must know there is a difference between controlling your anger and suppressing it. I notice many of our near and dear ones, often say “Just adjust to it! Just try to suppress! One should not shout? Why do you express everything?” Especially when they say “why do you express everything?” that is the time when I sense bypassing of emotions. Anger suppression is fatal for emotional body. What we need is a control, a regulated expression to stand in our own power. If we do not have any control , then it is harmful again. That clearly tells us that the point to understand is we should learn to control our anger but not suppress it when it is required or when it is worth to be angry.
Manage it, clear it out and channelise the energy of anger into something that is utilised/that is productive. Anger is just another form of energy. Physics taught us- Energy can be conevrted from one form to another but can never ve destroyed; and hence it just needs the proper channelisation. Simple. That’s it.
Sit. Feel it fully. Acknowledge your anger. See where it is coming from. Learn and find any lesson or feeling or thought associated. Accept any mistakes and take the hundred percent charge of the situation at it.
Believe me it’s far better than shouting and wasting the time where you could have gone inside yourself and found some clarity. See what in you attracted that anger and work in that direction. If you write, put it in words, otherwise paint, talk to a friend, talk to us, run on a road/jog, hit a pillow and let the excess be balanced. Just allow it to be channelised. Suppression further accumulates layer. These emotional layers become energetically thicker and problem becomes severe. Clear it at the time of arise. Shifts will begin. Have a leap of faith, you’ll notice the change coming.
Accept it. Learn from it. There’s nothing to fear about :’)
Stay Tuned

Take your charge back- avoid peer pressure

My neighbors, The Mittals are very simple people, believing in not so complex life habits and imparting their children with high morals to cope with inequities of life. It was just last week their daughter Tisha, who is one of the most sincere girls I’ve met started demanding for an iPhone which, in accordance with the economic backgrounds Mittals was not only unaffordable, but too impractical given the larger chunk of family income goes into education and home loan while the remaining has already ways to get utilized up in a dozen bills awaiting every month. In such circumstances the issue was not ‘How’ to get the phone; the issue was ‘Why’ Tisha had put an irrational demand.

How many of times have you noticed your best friend’s dazzling shoes and hid your feet backwards while they flaunt them? How many of times have you pretended to like the exotic destinations your friends have visited and can’t stop talking about? How many of times have you explored and explored the internet so that you can also be the part of the group that discusses latest episodes of game of thrones over their favorite lattes from the Starbucks?  How many times have you been to virtual trips to watch movies to match the talk which your friend does? And how many of times have you thrift-shopped and still manage to hide the labels for your dress doesn’t have a Gucci tag and your bag ain’t Prada. Maybe that’s the same thing which had somewhere somehow entangled the poor adolescent of Mittals. Maybe the desire to not feel inferior among her peers is what obliged her to put such demands, just as it obliges you. Doesn’t it? (Now you can not lie here, you’ve yourself agreed to the points above smart pants).

Peer influence is something that not only entices you to try the new things in life and experience the adrenaline rushing experiences but at the same can create a deep rooted notion of feeling inferior based on simple life styles of the peers. Just the latter is termed as “peer pressure”. The pressure can be social, financial, mental, physical, and emotional and in very intense cases may lead to isolation of the individual due to alienation. It’s not hidden that peer pressure drains one of self-esteem and confidence. Some are resilient enough to let go and learn while some face major identity crisis hampering personal and academic life. To overcome such barriers is neither vexatious nor demanding. All you got to do is follow these:

 

*Nothing can affect me if I decide it not to-

You are your own asset and your own liability depending on how you treat yourself and what you surround yourself with. Just a reminder, surrounding yourself with happiness and letting go of something that weighs you down works wonders for the beautiful heart inside you that keeps you going. Affirm and accept regularly: I let go of all that which no longer serves me or my purpose. I shed the burdens that are not mine to carry.

You will see things getting better 🙂

 

*I am in-charge of my own happiness-

In this not so pleasant world why would you expect someone to create happiness for you darling? You have been blessed to be born as a human soul and all you owe to it is staying happy. Create it on your own, read books that give you perspective, dance your heart out to random music in different language, paint with your fingers, play hide and seek with a toddler, bake a chocolate cake dripping with ganache and eat it on your own, light candles and have a spa at home with soothing music, spoil yourself. Do not rely on others for your happiness, only you can do that.( did we mention, staying happy is good for skin as well )

 

*I will talk about it-

Trust us, the most hurting thing you are doing (after feeling inferior) is not talking about it. Hiding your fears, apprehensions, thoughts, ideas, not just put you in a shell but make you feel more conscious about yourself. Talking to someone your heart out would not just boost your morale but also will you feel safe. Got no one to talk to? We’re here buddy.

 

*I will stand in my own power-

Why don’t you stand for your own interests? We want you to stand for it. We agree many times you just can’t disclose them in a group but find a way. Believe us; you can do it either way or that way. We might help.

 

*I will love myself-

Okay. Never ever we can lay enough emphasis on this because, at the end it all comes down to one simple thing- you have to love yourself. No matter how hard you try, unless you don’t love yourself you can simply not reciprocate and return the love to others. So what if you have flaws? So what if you’re imperfect? So what if you lack at a dozen things? Cherish your existence and pamper yourself. The flaws, the imperfections and the mistakes you have made, they have all created what you are today and that in itself is a thing to be glad about. Never let the materialistic possessions bother your affection towards your soul and passion towards your life.

YOU’RE JUST FINE AS YOU ARE WITH YOUR PERSONAL UNIQUE GIFTS.

Life is too short to waste on things that weigh you down; let the beauty, the light and the love lift you up.

 

*The writer wants to talk to Mittals how as an aware parent they should communicate with their daughter and address her difficulties of muddling. Any suggestions from you are most welcome*